How many hearts do you have
Why does this one matter more than the others
A friend can break your heart
So can a guardian
A child
A lover
Is it still the same heart
It was not the same love
It is strong they all are but why
Does this one hurt more
The breaking is not permanent
But it is not instantaneous either
There must be many hearts in our soul
So much larger than our body
There are many
Does the heart prioritized
Speak of the love we value most
Or of what was loved most in return
They never break evenly only ever differently
Still they heal they strengthen
Even if we deny it
They are stronger than they were yesterday
But different
Too different
Do they receive it like before
Or does something else come through
No
It just stopped beating in time with the others
We just keep comparing
Those beatings to something less
These silences to something more
I’ve asked the past, the mirror but not the future
Maybe tomorrow but that was yesterday
Piled up in the long ago and each time
It is asked, pleaded and stated
Has landed within reach
And now they are distanced
The question remains the same
The mirror looks different each day
The future is moving too fast to see
And each time I look back at the past
I see things that weren’t there yesterday.
Control and design, the building is just like the garden
Growing, changing but the building does not bloom
It does not bear fruit, it stays in spring stopped
Brought to the apogee and left there
Life built up and dissipated
An erect shell crumbles
The garden will return
And can be regrown
Again and again
But the building
It needs more
Than water
Light
Love.
I don’t know who they are
Only what I’ve heard they say
From others and never they themselves
I don’t know if they have lied
I’m told they can’t
Who said they can’t lie? They did
But who told you? They did
Who are they? Them.
The arrival was sudden but not sooner or later than I had thought
“We will not leave together”
Like knowing a storm is coming but gasping with the first gale
“The wind touched the trees long before us”
Trees had years to strengthen themselves against conflict
“leaves still part and go their own way”
Why is it so hard for us to say what is felt and what is true
“The two do not always coincide and neither do we”
Then in plain words speak both and we will take both
“You are not me and I am not you”
Are we not reflections of each other and each known?
“The ocean reflects the sun but not all water is a mirror”
Who is the sun, who is the ocean and together are we a horizon?
“We all are all and will be all but not all at once”
I don’t understand any and certainly not all of this
“You don’t have to and neither do I”
I have fallen in love before, just like you
It always feels like being on a grey coast alone
And suddenly catching sight of another from afar
It is there we fell, when nothing was seen but a shape
Saying “Here I am” without words, I knew it was you
Becoming clearer and clearer with each step taken
The walk seems endless until it is not and we are here
Who you are now exists in more than blurred vision
All senses embraced, behind each one another world
It is there we feel eternity has been opened before us
Where the future is held in our chests next to the heart
Until it is not and we continue walking alone
there are others, there will always be others
But there is still you.
There is still me.
I went out into the rain, into the world dropping down
They look like stars you know, the rain under light
Do you think it is magic or maybe a dip into space
They are no different than the burning ones
The dripping stars, they are bright and they fall
They aren’t wholely out of reach, no
But they too stop shining
Once in hand
The shore of memory, a dead sea of me and myself
Each day I walk and with each footfall I am left behind
I pass them by, crystal selves stuck in time long faded
Do I grow or do they wither, eaten away by dwelling
Or kept in the time as husks after reemergence
I do not know, there are no longer footprints ahead
Or behind only sand made stone by our repetition
I pass them by, broken salt and dazzling light
Do I show them to myself and say we still walk
Or do I forget the me of days forgotten
I do not know, the sea calls to me too
Does your soul feel mist rolling over it, Blinding and covering all
But unable to weigh down anything other than our thoughts
You sit there among the roots of trees and you tell me:
“It has built walls around me! It will not let me out!”
Of course it has, you sit in place and let all converge
Betraying your own strength, your place among nature
But look how the mist refuses to approach
It fears your presence, it can only hide what you allow
Stand! Walk forward and go where you cannot see
It falls back with each stride taken toward the future
Things you believed hidden were waiting behind
A small step over your self doubt would reveal them
Does your soul feel mist rolling over it, Blinding and covering all
Only as much as it feels you
And it does not touch you
Envision them dancing on lettered stars
speaking in ways we can not yet read
Overfilled words sent to far off eyes
Could they be telling of coming arrivals
Or calling another home? They don’t say
But still they dance with unknown emotion
Sadness and love or maybe the feeling between
Altered in our minds we begin to affiliate all things
With what we know to be true, what we feel must be
But they move, they move and all things begin to blur
Am I going somewhere new or am I going home
There is a crack in the place between stars
Calling to me with kindness and anger
Or maybe the feeling between
I’m starting to make out words